Daddy works at the airport

Writing this aboard a Delta jet from Atlanta to Denver on Sunday night.  After getting home late Thursday/early Friday, I am back on the road again.  I fly home Wed. night, getting home about 12:30AM.  I had a great two days with my family.  We had flag football games, went swimming, out to dinner with Bonnie and then more swimming and going to a birthday party with my youngest son Bradley.  Bonnie met me at the party and I went right from there to the airport.  Bradley was not thrilled I was leaving again and truth be told I was not thrilled either. 

It made me think back to two weeks ago when I went to "special guy day" at Bradley's pre-school.  The teacher had done little stories from each child that was waiting for the Dads on the kids desk.  One of the things that the teacher asked them was what their Dads do for work.  Bradley told her I work at the airport to make money for the family.  I work on airplanes he told her.  I chuckled at the school, but when I got home I tried to explain to Bradley that Daddy just goes on the plane to go somewhere else and that Daddy tries to keep our computers and networks safe.  What I do, is not the point though, the point is that Bradley knows that Daddy leaves on the plane a lot and he is not there for him. I sometimes think to myself, is it worth it?  Of course the easy answer is, of course it is.  I hope all the hard work now will allow me to spend more time with my two sons later.  But sometimes I wonder. Even if all the hard work does pay off, will my sons ever be 5 and 7 again.  Is my time with them now more crucial and valuable than my time with them when they might be older?  Would a job that did not have me traveling, even if it meant making less money, be better for them?  Certainly the money made from working and traveling affords them a very nice life, but is that an excuse I am using to soothe my conscience.

I know the quality versus quantity thing.  When I am home, I coach them both in soccer, football and baseball.  I take them swimming, bowling and the movies.  We go up to Orlando and do the theme parks several times a year.  I hug them and kiss them and tell them I love them often.  Still, is it enough? I am not the only one who deals with this.  Many of my friends who are road warriors go through the same thing.  Still it doesn't make it any easier. I am interested in what you think about this.  Especially if you did this and now your children are older.  How did it turn out?